In a little over thirty days, my marriage will officially by law be over. I'm sitting here thinking and sifting through memories and trying to find answers. In the beginning, we were so happy; I was so happy. The whole world was wide open and we had it all planned out. However, we became parents before we learned to live with one another back then. It was also at that time when the beautiful little bundle of joy came into my life that this invisible shadow cloaked itself on me. I became fretful over everything but I wrote it off as I was a new mom and we lived next door to a nutcase. Every day I felt a little more defeated yet I would try to slap on a smile and shake it off. At moments and short lengths of time, it would feel as if it would go but it always came back. I tried to throw myself into different things but days became weeks and weeks became months. Those months became years. I would wake up every day hoping that I would feel different but I didn't. It wasn'