I have had so many thoughts. It's like I've been trying to hold a speeding train. I've dug in my heels and I've tried to hold on but it's useless. So here I am walking down the tracks looking at all the pieces. Every course word, every snip, all the accusations, all the times I took him for granted, the times when I lied about money (I bounced our checking account over food) because I was afraid, the times when the house wasn't clean, and all the selfish moments  all are there lying in front of me and in the coldness of his gaze.     He doesn't want to talk. This time, he's got one foot out the door and the other isn't too far behind. I want to fight, but how do  you  fight for something, when the other person just doesn't love you anymore? How do you make them see that your both worth fighting for, that the family you've shared for over twenty years is worth it, and a little 12 year old little boy is worth it

Twenty-one years ago I married my high school sweetheart. He was everything I wanted, and I believe we were both in love but we were young. We had all these plans of being the cool couple at college, but a week after we were married, I got pregnant with the first of two children. I know I am to blame for the bulk of our marital woes. I haven't worked; just little jobs here and there, I wasn't the best at keeping the house (no I wasn't filthy or trashy), and I am not good at money.  I never thought though, that after 21 years of marriage, two kids, and a house we owe nothing on, that it would end like this.       In between trying to be a mother and stay active in our children's school and things plus take care of an ailing grandmother, I had to put a lot of things I probably should not have on the back burner. He's had to shoulder the responsibility of our family on his own shoulders for 21 years. I understand his resentment. I understand his stress. I have aspira